Sick
by survivedfromheaven
Summary: This was Eren's thirteenth year in the hospital, and his body's been shutting down ever since. Everyday, he yearns to go outside. However, a run in with a criminal might just be his way of making it out of the hospital to get a sunburn. AU. Blind!Sick!Eren and Criminal!Levi.
1. Hospitals

A/N: I never know what I'm doing. Definitely not now. Oh, also, I'm not a doctor so don't even ask. Also, I'm not a doctor. Sorry if it sucks. I suck.

* * *

Eren wrapped the thick, white quilt around his frail body and snuggled up in it. The heart monitor was beeping continuously and the boy sitting on the hospital bed tapped his finger in the same rhythm. Eren sighed softly and his breathe was visible in the air; however, not to the boy himself. There he sat, his grey eyes staring into absolutely nothing; a void of darkness. It made lots of people uncomfortable. Namely the nurses that came to check up on him and a few friends he made at Maria Hospital.

Maria Hospital was a comfortable, small hospital. Definitely not as grand as Sina Hospital all the way out in Stohess county. Sina Hospital, on the contrary, was a large hospital with all the newest medications. It was much more expensive than Maria Hospital, which was one the reasons why Eren was stuck in there, progressively getting worse. Maria Hospital was also much closer to his sister, so she had time to visit; not often though. She was busy doing college and part-time jobs, which Eren hated. He hated being such a burden on his older sister. She was supposed to be having fun with her college friends- not spending all of her time working to pay off his medication bills, and not having any time to socialize.

Eren had argued countless times to just let him off the medication, which in Eren's defense wasn't even doing a great deal of help. He wanted her to stop working overtime, and staying up all night just so she could pay this month's bills. She, of course, was reluctant to just let him slowly die. But he already was dying, and there nothing to stop it. Mikasa was just prolonging the time of his passing, and he was honestly getting tired of living like the way he was. He was blind and sick. He just wanted it to be over already; he didn't want to suffer anymore.

Eren Jaeger was 17 years old and tired. He's been hospitalized for around 13 years, and his condition has always been getting worse with time. Time was his enemy. He couldn't even remember being outside of the chilly hospital. He couldn't remember what rain felt like, or what it looked like. Eren just wanted to go outside for once, without being helped by a nurse or being asked if he was alright. He wanted to go outside and trip on the sidewalk; to get sunburned; to feel what grass felt like. Eren longed for that day, but nobody would ever fulfill his wish. They were always so worried about him, so they never listened to him. He longed for that day, and he was determined to make it happen before he passed.

Eren lost count of the years he'd been trapped in that hospital, but it was tolerable. He had a few friends there to keep him company. He'd met some nice nurses who didn't get on his nerves every time they visited him. They were all sweet and very fond of him, and vice-versa.

While snuggling up, and hearing rain droplets outside the window, he heard the door slide open and his attention was on the intruder. He sat up in his bed and laid his hands out in front of him.

"Good morning, Eren!" A sweet voice called to him and although he could not see the woman, he smiled and greeted her as well. He heard her footsteps come beside his bed and felt the bed sink with her weight.

"How are you, Eren?" She asked, and Eren could hear her fiddling with the machinery beside him. He didn't know what she was doing, but it wasn't like he could stop her.

"I'm good. Really tired, though."

"Oh, I see. It's probably because of the cloudy weather today. Cloudy weather always makes people feel sluggish. Even I feel sluggish today, believe it or not!" Petra laughed and Eren chuckled softly at her words.

"Really? The glimmering Petra is sluggish today? I just can't believe it!" Eren laughed out and Petra giggled. He felt Petra shuffle in her seat and clap her hands together.

"All done! I just fixed your oxygen tank and your blood bag! You're all fresh and new!" He could feel her smile and he felt an urge to do the same. "Oh! I forgot!"

Eren felt her quickly get off his bed and move across the room. He tried to follow her echoes, but found it difficult with her speed. Eventually, he felt a large, warm substance cover his body and he touched it. It was incredibly soft and he grabbed it and rubbed it face on it smiling. It was so warm, and it was perfect the cold weather inside and out the hospital.

"I got you a blanket, Eren, since it's so cold in here! Goodness, I didn't want you to freeze in here!"

Eren lightly laughed and let go of the blanket with a cheetah print on it. "This thick quilt is more than enough for me," and he tried to move the heavy quilt on his body, showing the girl how difficult it was. "But thank you, anyways. It's so soft!"

He heard Petra clasp her hands together in pride. "I got you the best blanket there was!"

Eren rest his hands down and stared outside the window. Silence came over the two, but it was comfortable. Some minutes passed until Eren opened his mouth to speak.

"Can I go outside?"

Eren heard the woman open her mouth, and a noise of hesitation left her. He clenched his hands tightly into a fist, already knowing the answer. His eyebrow twitched in either anger or annoyance; probably both.

"I-I'm sorry, Eren. You know the answer." The voice was upset, and disappointed.

Eren let out an irritated sigh. "I just… I want to go outside. I want to feel what the ground feels like. I can't remember anything from before I went blind, and it bothers me so much!" His voice was firm and somewhat loud.

Petra stared at the boy sitting in front of her, and his grey eyes that held no emotion. It unnerved her. "Well, it's just that we can't risk you getting any worse, Eren. Your system just can't handle that much motion and the air is so filthy nowadays!"

She tried to reason with Eren, but he never backed down. He wanted to go outside so bad. He was locked up in this hospital for so many years and he was tired. He was so tired, and he knew his sister was too.

"Please, Petra. You can't just expect me to sit in here for so many years and not expect something in return! I want to go outside! I want to feel what the sunlight feels like; I want to feel what rain feels like; I want to know what the seasons feel like!" Eren cried out. He was so sick of always being refused, and he could feel the woman hesitate. "Just once."

He felt a warm hand grasp his own and Eren, in all fury, just wanted to rip his hand away, but refrained from doing so.

"Listen, Eren. I'm thinking that _maybe_ we can let you go outside once. Just not today. Maybe when you're on your final moments. I'll try to reason with the doctor, but please hang in there, Eren! Don't die on us just yet." The voice was reassuring and the hand tightened on Eren's.

Eren smiled slightly. "Thank you, Petra."

* * *

The following days were the same: a repetitive schedule of waking up and then taking several naps throughout the day; as well as a nurse checking up on him every once in a while. Some days, Eren felt horrible and he find himself coughing for minutes nonstop- sometimes on the rare occasion hacking up a certain thick substance. It was getting more common, though. Eren was scared, but that didn't stop him from constantly asking Petra what the heads up was on the situation of him being able to go outside.

She hadn't persuaded his strict doctor just yet, but was managing to somewhat sway the doctor's opinion on the matter. His doctor, Dr. Smith, was a firm man who always ensured Eren was in perfect condition. Well, not perfect; as perfect as Eren could get, this mind you wasn't close to perfect at all. He'd known Eren since the boy was admitted into the hospital, and Dr. Smith was a young man back then. Now he was in his thirties, but of course he was still as handsome as ever. Eren would not admit, however, that he always appreciated the deep, smooth voice of the older man. He could just imagine what Dr. Smith looked like and Eren would gladly run his hands over the man-

That was beside the point. Eren was just glad Petra was trying to help his wish come true, and Eren thanked her every time she came to see him. She would hug him and chat with him for a while, like usual, and leave. She wasn't the only nurse Eren knew, though. He knew others- the ones that weren't annoying.

They hadn't come over recently, but every day, those nurses would come in and have lunch with Eren. Lunchtime wasn't the best time for Eren, since his stomach was always upside-down, he could ever barely eat anything. His appetite wasn't large; if anything, it wasn't even there. He would just poke at his sandwich or cafeteria Jell-O and prayed that they wouldn't say anything- which they didn't. But of course, they would end up making sure he at least a bite of something. Make sure he wouldn't die from malnutrition.

Now, Eren sat in his bed that he'd actually gotten very attached to in all his years of sleeping in. One of the nurses, Gunther, would always tell him the time and day and month and season every time he walked into Eren's room. Eren appreciated it; that way, he could tell time. Last time Gunther had walked in, he'd said it was February. Eren had already forgotten the day, but he guessed they were half-way through the month. It was winter, and winter meant cold. Winter was the season of rain, snow, and dropping temperatures.

While Eren preferred summer, he liked winter somewhat. Summer was this season of a warm aura, tropical smells, and delicious fruit. The sun made Eren so warm and he needed it now. It was freezing in the hospital. Or was it just _his_ room?

Eren sat up straighter when he heard footsteps stop at his room, and the door slid open. Eren smiled at the people who just entered his room. "Good morning, guys!"

"Good morning, Eren!" They greeted him as well and Eren heard them sit down, Auruo and Erd standing in front of his bed.

He heard zips and plastic bags opening. He was guessing it was lunchtime. Well, isn't that just wonderful.

"We brought you some food, Eren! It's still cafeteria food, but we got the good food for you!" He heard Petra place some food in front of him and he asked what it was.

"It's a Granola bar, a sandwich, and a side of rice." Erd explained as he shoved some salad into his mouth.

Eren nodded and smiled a little. "Thank you…"

"Well, you brat, you better eat that. I don't want you wasting our time." A voice spoke up in a snarky tone, and Eren automatically knew who it was. That was Auruo, and he always called Eren a brat. Eren didn't mind it; if anything, he enjoyed being teased like that. He'd never say that though. Eren quickly glared at the general area of where Auruo stood and he heard a scoff.

"Anyway, where's Gunther?" Eren asked.

"Oh, he's busy helping a patient. I don't think he's going to be able to come today." Erd responded and Eren slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I heard that that new patient has a really sad story. She doesn't have any-"

They began to talk about everyday things, and Eren sat quietly. He didn't pay much attention, but would sometimes say something. Eren, once again, just stared at his food. His face was heating up and his throat was clenching up. Eren closed his eyes in irritation. He reached his arm up and lightly coughed, even though his throat was yearning to just hack and relieve the burning sensation. He didn't make it a big deal; he played it off as a slight itch of his throat, so that way, they wouldn't worry.

Eren let his shoulders tense up when his throat burned intensely. He clenched his hands tightly into a fist; tightly gripped the bed. They didn't seem to notice, and for several minutes, they didn't notice. They finished their food and soon left, waving a farewell. Eren forced a smile for a while until he no longer heard their footsteps. His mouth dropped and he began to cough violently into his hands. He did so for several minutes, and reached over for a tissue when he felt a familiar substance come from his mouth, his hand blindly searching for Kleenex box. He found it and quickly shoved a tissue to his mouth to cover up the blood.

His coughing died down, and it was all silent now. He crumpled the tissue up and shoved it under his pillow, as so no one would find it. Eren sniffled and felt his heart beating in his chest slowly. It was difficult for him to breathe correctly, and he could feel his heart just beating agonizingly slow. Eren's face was hot and his chest was on fire.

Today definitely wasn't his day.

* * *

A week passed, and soon Eren was getting weaker and weaker. His arms were always sore and he could ever barely lift them up to get a tissue. His lungs were slowing down and his heart was pumping slower. Eren was scared, and he was always thinking about what would happen when he finally died. His sister had visited a couple days before, along with their childhood friend Armin.

Armin was a nice boy- incredibly intelligent as well. Eren and Mikasa had known Armin since they were babies, and had grown up with one another. Armin helped Mikasa pay the medical bills, and Eren would yell at both of them to stop paying, but of course neither paid attention to what he said. That irked Eren to no end.

Their visit was brief, but still full of love. Hugs were shared and Mikasa held onto Armin's hand; Eren could feel her uncertainty and fear. It was quiet for the most part, since Eren never really had anything to talk about other than ask them what it was like outside. One thing Eren had always wanted to see was the ocean. He'd never been to the ocean in his entire life and he'd heard it was gorgeous. Armin had been there and tried to explain to his sick friend what it looked like; what it felt like. It was in vain, for Eren was blind and Eren merely nodded, trying desperately to imagine what it'd be like.

The two left and Eren began to doze off. He could feel his heart sometimes get erratic and he'd feel in his chest; like his heart was the only thing he could feel. Like his chest wasn't even there. It felt like his heart was naked with no skin to cover it. Almost like if he dared to look down, he'd see his withering heart.

It was the first week of March, and it was getting warmer. Eren thanked the lord and ripped the thick, winter quilt the hospital gave to patients for winter. He didn't care where it landed; the nurses would pick it up. Eren was bored almost all the time, and all of his friends were busy with their nursing jobs. Dr. Smith had visited him and Eren would just pretend to listen. His doctor told him his conditions and how they were trying to look for some medication that could actually help him.

"Eren."

Eren opened his eyes and looked forward. "Hm?"

"Good afternoon."

"Oh, um, good afternoon, Doctor," Eren replied somewhat tired and still hazy. He recognized the man as his doctor.

"Listen, I just want to take a few scans on you, if it's alright with you." The voice was deep as usual.

Eren sat up, but felt his muscles strain at the action. "Um, yeah, that's fine." It's not like he had a choice.

He heard his doctor make his way to him and Eren slightly put his head down. "Let me help you." The voice was gentle and soft, yet still had that huskiness to it. It was addictive.

"N-No, I'm fine," Eren said, but his breath was short and raspy. He blindly felt for the floor and felt the coldness seep through his feet. It was freezing.

"Here, let me get your slippers," he heard Erwin say and Eren just sat there, slowly pressing his feet lower so he'd get used to the cold, tiled floor. He felt hands grab his foot and slip on the fuzzy slippers and Eren wiggled his toes.

"Thanks," Eren breathed out and he slowly- yet surely – lifting himself onto his feet. His hands were still on the bed, gripping it tightly. Erwin seemed to notice and grabbed Eren's arms and moved him forward. Eren, unbeknownst to him gripped into Erwin's arms, and moved forward. Man, did his legs hurt.

Eren felt slightly embarrassed at the fact that he had to have his doctor help him move, but it wasn't like he was going to magically become unblind and just waltz out the door like some ballerina. He really wished it would happen though.

The trip was slow and silent. Eren was just making sure he was breathing evenly, and tried to keep the atmosphere around them not awkward. Neither talked, but there was always this weird air around them that set Eren off. Eren was internally screaming and contemplating just talking to his doctor about something, until it just got plain awkward. He didn't follow through with it.

After ten minutes, Eren guessed, they finally made it to the scanning place and he was led to the bed where he carefully sat down and waited patiently. He was instructed by Erwin who was in the next room to lie down and just lay still. He did so, and just slowly breathed. He wondered what happened during these 'scan' thingies.

Erwin went off about lots of things such as instructions, but Eren was too busy being tired. Eren really hated it when they woke him up so early; he could never tell what time it was, unless someone was to directly tell him, but he could take a gamble. He supposed it was around twelve or one in the afternoon, but it was still too early for Eren; _way _too early.

For a while he silently laid there in a quiet room. His eyes darted back and forth in the darkness he saw. It was really quiet and it made Eren uneasy. Still, he laid there in utter silence. He knew Erwin was in the other room, but what the heck was he doing?

"Erwin! We need the closest operation room! Right now!" A shout was heard and Eren sat up on his elbows at the yelling outside the room. His heard really hurt. It was utterly silent one second, and now one second later, everyone's screaming and yelling their lungs out? What the fuck? Eren scrunched his eyebrows at the sounds and heard someone shout for a blood bag due to 'extreme blood loss.' Eren sat up slowly, even though his back burned. He felt his heart bump a little too weirdly for him and he clutched his chest.

He heard Erwin's voice through the speaker telling him to stay put. Although Eren desperately wanted to go see what was going on- or rather hear what was going on, he knew he had no way of making it to the scene; no less the door. So he sighed in annoyance and just curled up in a ball on the bed- or whatever he was laying on.

From outside the door he could hear panicked screams and the wheels of one of those gurney thingies speed away. He could tell the person who had just been pushed into the operating room would die; it was as clear as day. When people began screaming and gasping out of shock and panic, it was never a good sign. Especially when this hospital never really had the greatest machines needed for surgery and whatever else went on in here.

Eren chewed his lips, but kept having to stop so he could breathe properly. He waited there in silence; the echoes of the shouts lingered though.

* * *

After all the commotion, Erwin decided to just leave the scans for another day. Eren didn't say anything; he could hear how the man's voice was exhausted and just completely drained. Eren could almost see how the man had these clouded over eyes that seemed to dull his usually blue, stunning eyes. Almost.

Eren was assisted to his room, but he had to actually use his muscles more, because Erwin seemed to be too tired to hold up someone else. That surprised Eren to some extent. The man sounded like he could carry a whole train.

Eren got comfortable in his bed once more, ready to take another nap. Eren, as he tried to lull himself to sleep, tried to figure out the time. He'd gone to the scanning room thing around midday, and Erwin had left to help with that person for maybe an hour or two. Eren realized how long he'd been in that room and sighed. He could've probably made it to his room, if he decided to not follow his doctor's orders. He'd be a rebel.

The day passed slowly, but the chilly warmth of the air kept Eren awake. He really wanted something to do; he'd begged Mikasa for an iPod more than once and every time she'd refuse by saying that he'd probably lose it. While he argued back at her, in the back of his mind, he knew she was right. He'd lost more things in his life than there were patients at the hospital. Some of those things were either incredibly expensive or incredibly cheap, but he'd get yelled at by his sister anyway.

Eren took several naps throughout the slowly moving day, and once night rolled over, Eren just could not sleep. The silence of the hospital during the nighttime was slightly scary, yet always creepy. It always had this air to it that made Eren feel off; so in retaliation, he'd just sleep the night away. But tonight, he just couldn't sleep. It was like something was nagging at him in the back of his mind, but he couldn't tell what it was.

The boy huffed in irritation. He was tired and sleepy, but his eyes would not stay still for more than one minute. Eren could tell it was either extremely late, or extremely early. Maybe around midnight. The time when monsters came out; or at least that's what Eren thought back when he was just a child at the hospital.

Then the door suddenly slammed open and Eren jumped in his bed. His heart was going incredibly fast and kept skipping beats, only to beat twice times faster afterward. He coughed into his arm and let out a painful groan. He quickly looked up with a hazy expression, trying to find the intruder, and he did.

He could hear the exhausted and strained pants coming from the door and he looked slightly in that direction.

"Who are you?" Eren asked, yet his voice strained to make out the words.

He heard silence on the other end, and then a long string of curses. Eren flinched at that, but kept his gaze steady. Eren realized the intruder was a man. An extremely pissed off one at that.

"Goddammit. I thought this stupid fucking room was empty," the man kept gasping between words, "but I guess not." Eren heard the man slowly walk to the center of his room, and then heard a scoff.

"What are you doing h-here?" Eren coughed out. He could hear the man struggle to move, but kept silent about it. "A-Aren't you supposed to be in intensive care?"

He heard the man do a double take on that, because the man let out a surprised sound and the footsteps changed position. "What the hell?"

Eren felt like laughing, but held it back. "I can smell the blood. You're bleeding a lot." Eren stated bluntly. "What are you doing here?"

"None of your damn business. Jesus Christ." He heard the man sigh in annoyance. "Listen, kid. You stay quiet about this." Eren heard the footsteps make their way to the door. "You saw nothing." And with that, the man fled the room and slammed the door once more, leaving Eren incredibly confused, but also piqued with interest.

Eren fiddled with his hands before letting out a cough.

He sat there before wondering if the man made it to the Intensive Care Unit without bleeding to death.

* * *

A/N: Like I have said, I'm not a doctor. Obviously, as you can see. I don't know what this is at all, but I swear it will get better. And a lot fluffier and angstier, but I promise nobody will die. I think. Hang in there, guys. Anyway, some of you guys may know my other story Flipped also with Riren in it, but yeah this is Riren too. Anyway, my writing will get less suckier.

Also sorry for the Eruren in there, it's kinda my guilty ship, so if it's there and if it looks like I'm implying it I'm trying not to. I make things too gay between Eren and basically everybody he interacts with. So, don't mind it.

Also, lots of grammar mistakes in there (maybe, I think), and I'm sick right now, so please don't mind those either. I'll go back when I'm feeling better and take the time to redo lots of things! Anyway, please review!


	2. Nature

A/N: Hey, guess who is back! Still not a doctor, though. Anyway, I am so ecstatic with the love I've been getting for this story! All of these reviews make me so happy, as well the insane amount of followers and favorites! This makes me so happy! I love all of you and your support!

This is so cool, considering this is just the second chapter of my story, but it's still shocking! Anyway, here is the second chapter of Sick and I hope you all enjoy it! Also, my tumblr is meowkasa for those who'd like to follow me or something.

Also, I'm planning on making a new title for this story, so if any of you have suggestions, I'll be glad to consider it!

And wow! Almost 5,000 words! I'm on a roll!

* * *

Several weeks passed since the encounter with the man who reeked of blood and utter pain. Eren was always awake during the nighttime- just in case the man appeared again. He never did. The weeks following were still _ever_ so boring, but Eren was always on his toes waiting to see if the man would pass by. It felt like months to Eren, and he would've believed it if Gunther had not told him it was nearing April.

He'd always shake the thought off; after all, the man was in Intensive Care and was not allowed to go anywhere for a while until he was fully healed. There was this strange feeling about the man that made Eren uneasy. He had _so _many questions in the back of his head, but knew there'd be no answer.

Once April rolled over, there was a rumor weaving itself into the mouths of the nurses and doctors. Apparently, a patient had run away. And it also seemed that the same patient was a criminal with a heavy Want on him. Petra had told him, as well as their small group, during a lunchtime session and they'd argued over it for a while. Eren still picked at his food, and found his bites getting smaller. Something was bothering him in the back of his mind, but he couldn't pin-point what it was.

But that was beside the point. He'd asked Erwin about the rumor, but the doctor merely shook it off saying it was only a rumor. Eren picked at his fingernails in doubt of the man's words, but he still said an annoyed 'okay' at the thought of being kept from secrets. The two dismissed the subject as quickly as it came and the doctor told him of his condition for umpteenth time while Eren just nodded emptily.

Eren was told countless times that he was in a point where he wasn't getting any worse or better. That had happened lots of times, but it was only a matter of time until he'd get a little bit worse day by day. His body was shutting down on him and Eren could do nothing but feel it make his bones weaker and his heart ever so fragile.

More than once his breathing left him gaping like a fish depraved of its water. His lungs stopped functioning, and his heart just failed to pump the oxygen into his system. Or so they said. Eren didn't know what was what anymore. Everything that happened to him just seemed the same and it was always a continuous repetitive pattern of his something failing which caused him to do whatever. Nurses had to be sent in when those moments happened in order to calm him down and make him breathe normally again.

Eren never talked the rest of the day.

* * *

Eventually, the rumors that were floating around were deemed true, and everyone went hysteric. Bets were fulfilled and apparently, the head of the hospital called the police station to file a report on the missing criminal. Apparently, the hospital no longer needed to worry about the man and just let the police take care of it. Of course, everyone was still looking for the criminal on their own free-time hoping to reap the benefits of turning in such a horrible criminal.

"Hey there, Eren!" A voice came from the door, but Eren kept his gaze downward as he played with his hands.

"Hey, guys." Eren responded.

Eren recognized the footsteps and the voices of his friends and heard them settle down for another lunchtime session together.

"Do you guys know if they'll ever find that criminal?" Erd asked them, obviously still interested in the weeks old rumor.

"Well, it's been _weeks _since the guy ran away," Gunther began and Eren looked up- suddenly interested in the conversation.

Eren decided to speak up. "Does anybody know his name?" His voice was raspy from his lack of talking, but also due to his throat swelling up sometimes.

"Not that I've heard of. They probably have it on the news or the internet. Whatever the man was here for wasn't my medical area." Gunther said as he took a bite of his burrito.

"I think he was in the Intensive Care. I've heard his name was Levi, or something like that. Apparently, he came in with several bullet wounds and lacerations. He was bleeding a _lot_, and I heard they had to use around three blood bags to make sure he wouldn't die from blood loss."

Petra gasped in shock at that and spoke, "Oh my _goodness_! That's horrible!"

Eren chuckled at her and played with his hands over his quilt, that Eren thanked was lighter and airier. "Were they bad?"

"Well, what the_ hell_ does it _sound_ like, brat?" Auruo chimed in in his usual arrogant voice and Eren's face quickly turned into a scowl.

"Guys, please stop!" Petra begged and Eren could feel Auruo's trying-to-be-threatening aura calm down. Eren smiled a little at how much Auruo cared for Petra, and knew that the man probably had a crush on the sweet woman. He'd bet his life on it.

"Say, do you think they'll ever find the guy?" The group continued their conversation while Eren's thoughts drifted away.

Eren looked down as he remembered that one night several weeks ago; that one strange night where he had a strange conversation with an equally strange man who just happened to be bleeding intensely. Eren wondered for a moment if he was the criminal everyone was talking about, yet he felt dubious at the same time. Then again, why else had the man barged into his room thinking it was empty?

Eren grit his teeth in frustration, but made sure to not show it. All this thinking was making him frustrated, and he wondered briefly why he cared so much about this whole ordain. He sighed internally, but he knew the answer. It was only because something exciting was finally happening in this boring hospital.

Though, he wasn't too sure if the excitement was good for him. His headaches had been getting worse from overthinking, and time was still flying by.

"Here, let's watch the news and see if anything happened! I'm sure they have _something_ about it on here!" Eren heard Petra quickly grab the TV remote by his side and turn on the tiny TV hanging up on the side of his room.

The news was playing, and all they were talking about was the weather and traffic. It was boring for a while, and the others picked up on small talk. Eren was just sitting there, thinking about small things and the criminal who ran away.

It was silent for a while, only the munching and crunching of food being heard, as well as the TV which was on a fairy low level. Just low enough for them to hear without being heard from across the hall. It took a while before a woman was heard on the TV talking about a certain criminal who had run away from a certain hospital who was now being pursued by the cops.

Petra quickly shushed all of them, and Eren smiled as heard Gunther make a confused sound. None of them had been talking.

"It has been announced that the criminal with no last name, Levi, has escaped from Maria Hospital three weeks ago."

"Escaped? They make it sound like this is a prison?" Erd added in with a slight hint of amusement in his voice, and the others laughed.

Eren's eyes moved around as the name was announced. Levi. Levi? He has no last name? What?

"This criminal's whereabouts are once again unknown and county police are on the search. Please be aware of your surroundings at all time for this dirty criminal could be somewhere near you." The woman's voice was monotonic throughout the announcement, but when the words 'dirty criminal' came out Eren heard her voice drop into this deep, disgusted voice filled with malice.

"This criminal is wanted for homicide, larceny, kidnapping, and drug-dealing. Please inform the nearest police station if you've seen this man." The voice paused, and Eren could hear a slight detection of hesitance before the broadcasting ended and went to commercials.

"Wow, that's a lot of crimes for one person." Gunther said as he cleaned up his platter of crumbs. Eren nodded in a daze, and his head began to pulsate heavily.

"He looks pretty thuggish to me," Erd said, referring to the pale skin covered with scratched and bruises, and a tattoo here and there. "Looks like the type to commit those crimes."

Homicide? Kidnapping? Had the man really done all that, yet left everyone at the hospital untouched? It seemed odd to Eren, but it seemed no one else cared enough to think about it.

Eren flinched as his throat sent a painful, scorching shockwave to his stomach and he began to cough violently. He tried to keep it down, the cough, the vomit, the blood, whatever it was. But it seemed to have a mind of its own, and before he knew it he was vomiting onto his bed while his friends were frantically calling for a doctor, and trying to get a bucket to him. The guilt just made it worse.

His heart was beating to erratically, and he was trying to breathe. He was gasping like a fish out of water, and he cursed his luck. He was hyperventilating.

After several minutes of the same wretched sounds and feelings of his stomach being hacked up by his throat, he was being held by his doctor whose grip was tight on his arms and he eventually calmed down. Eren could not see the mess he made, but he could feel it, and it felt disgusting.

"Calm down." The voice was firm as it always was and Eren took deep breathes. Of course, his breathing was still shaky and his back was quivering in its skin.

"Petra," Erwin began, and Petra looked at him with concern on her face. "Get a new sheet. We're going to throw this one away. Have Erd assist you."

Petra nodded and hastily ran out of the room to retrieve the new blanket, Erd trailing after her. Gunther and Auruo were asked- rather told- to rid of the filthy blanket that laid on Eren.

While the others did so, Eren sat there with his mouth sealed shut, and his hands wiping his mouth clean. "I think I'm getting worse." He said softly, it was too difficult for him to say a word. For a moment, Erwin laughed, but it soon stopped and Eren closed his eyes. "I'm tired." It was a raspy whisper.

"I know, Eren. Anyone would be tired if they were in the same position as you. Your stomach has been out of sorts lately. Did you eat anything weird?" Erwin asked him, and Eren felt his bed sink with his weight.

Eren scoffed at the question. "Define w-weird." Eren felt extremely uncomfortable chatting. His throat was burning like there was acid rotting it away, but he tried to keep the pain from affecting him. His voice kept cracking and words kept slurring together he briefly wondered how on Earth Erwin understood him.

Eren flinched when he felt Erwin slowly reach for his ribs and stomach. He inwardly groaned in exasperation and annoyance at the persistence, but it was the man's job. Eren wondered how the doctor would feel if he'd died because he didn't bother to check his dietary habits. He didn't know how the man put up with him, and honestly, if he was Erwin, he'd quit.

"Have you been eating anything at all?" The voice, Eren noted, was firmer than usual. Eren wanted to roll his eyes, but felt weird doing so. Erwin sighed and rubbed his temples. "Jesus. You need to eat, Eren."

Eren felt another pang of guilt override him as he heard the man's voice that sounded so tired tell him to eat. Everyone always sounded so tired in this hospital, and it always put Eren in a damp mood. Just being in here, still breathing, still having to take up the time of Petra and the others made him sour.

He cursed under his breath, and it ended up in him coughing. Erwin was caught off guard and just waited for Eren to stop, who was grateful. He hated it when people tried to rub and soothe his back when he was coughing at any point during the day whether it was light cough or a heavy one.

Eren sighed heavily under his breathe and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he was asleep.

* * *

Eren woke up in a fresh smelling, new blanket and he was glad they had traded that gross blanket out and got a new one. If they had merely washed the other one and tried to make him sleep in it, he'd outright refuse. He wasn't a clean-freak, not by a long shot. But if someone were to sleep in a blanket they had just hurled onto, Eren would question that person's mental state of mind.

It was warm, as usual. April was warm, and May would turn hot. Eren, although he could never actually feel the heat of the atmosphere by sitting in his hospital bed like some recluse, could feel the sun beating down on him through his window that shone right on him.

The days passed normally, or as normal as they could get. His headaches would hurt more, his coughing burned more, and his heart and lungs were getting weaker; the usual stuff. They began to use the nasal cannula on him just in case. It wasn't every day, but they weren't taking risks.

Mid-April rolled over in no time, and Petra came barging into his room, squealing a little and Eren felt his hands get pulled into hers. He could feel her excitement roll off of her and he couldn't help but feel happy too, though for reasons unknown.

"What's up?" He asked her, and she happily squeezed his hands. If he could see, he'd be sure she was smiling rainbows. He smiled softly with her, and she quickly sat down beside him.

"Eren! I managed to convince Dr. Smith to let you go outside!" Petra announced in such a wondrous tone, and Eren froze. "It took a while; I think two and a half months? Well, from February to April, right? Oh, who cares! Eren! This is such good news!" Petra was bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Eren?" She asked with a slight tilt of her head. Eren was silent at her calling, so she asked once more, a little concerned. "Eren?"

Eren was frozen in spot, and his limbs felt weak. It was sudden, and it was amazing. He was going to go outside. Outside… The thought made shivers shoot down his spine, and he felt so incredibly excited. So excited, and so thrilled.

His mouth began to move, and it turned into a smile. It started small, and over the course of a few seconds, it turned so incredibly large it was as bright as the sun, or so Petra believed.

Petra, in all her life, had never seen so beautiful. The smile on the usually tightly locked lips made her feel so proud, knowing it was her doing that allowed Eren to feel that happiness. The brightness radiating from those lips made Petra imagine what those eyes would have looked like if they had been filled with color, and if the boy could have been able to see. They would have been filled with this radiating light, she knew it.

Eren squeezed her hands back and Eren could feel his heart racing. His stomach was churning, and he knew it was due to nervousness and fear.

He felt arms wrap themselves around him and he froze at the warmth. Petra giggled and squeezed him tightly. Eren slowly brought his arms up and did the same to the woman, and he let out this sigh that sounded so content.

Though Eren may have felt like he was exaggerating things, he could argue that he wasn't at all. He hadn't been outside for years, and he was so excited to feel the world. Feel the sun, feel the grass, feel the fresh air that wasn't air condition from the hospital's vents, and he was so ready to take it on.

They sat there for a while, until Petra whispered into his ear. "Come on, Eren. Let's go." And the voice was so delicate and soft, Eren nodded slowly and eagerly swung his legs over the side of the bed in astounding speed, but he flinched when his head pounded heavily in his skull, but he kept it hidden. He wasn't going to let some meager headache stop him from doing this.

"Let me go get the others real quick! I don't want them to miss out on this!" And the woman fled in a dash, leaving Eren to sit there beaming like the sun itself.

* * *

The way from Eren's room to the first floor was a struggle and took some time, but they guided him, and he trusted them to do so.

"Come on, Eren. We're almost there," Gunther said to him, reassuring him and Eren smiled at their generosity. He could hear Petra beside him happily chatting away, her arm on his, guiding him to their destination.

With every step, Eren seemed to get more intrigued, more nervous, more excited, and more anxiety. For the first time in his life, he felt something other than wanting to just never wake up, or let his useless life end there and then. He felt hope. He felt happiness. It felt so strange to feel those foreign things.

He'd felt amusement before at the antics of his friends, but it was never there for more than a minute. He wanted something to happen, something that made him feel something for more than a long time. And this was that something.

Petra stopped walking, and Eren heard the sound of a door opening, and he stopped walking. He heard noises. He heard what people hear every day. Nature, cars, people walking around, and it felt weird.

"Ready?" Petra asked him, and it took him a while to really process everything.

"Y-Yeah," he said, and it was this mixture between a sigh and an inhale.

"Alright, let's go!" Erd said and patted Eren on the back and walked ahead of them. Eren stumbled and he gripped tighter onto Petra's arm that did the same to reassure him.

He stepped forward, and it was a shaky step. He was uncertain of his steps, but knew Petra and the others would make sure he got this right.

"Come one, brat, we don't have all day," the snarky voice passed Eren and Eren's face just seemed to automatically contort itself into a scowl.

"I have all day." Eren retorted and he heard Auruo scoff lightly, and Eren did the same. This was what made Eren feel human; the banters and fights with someone else. It was a normal thing normal people did, and it relieved Eren that the older man did not pity him in all his depressed glory.

And the first thing Eren felt was sun. It was hot and burning, but maybe it was because he had not been outside for ages. He felt somewhat like a caveman, taking its first steps into the world. It felt new, but nostalgic at the same time.

The air was fresh and clear. He could only imagine what the sky would look like. Something gorgeous for sure.

He took several deep inhales, just appreciating the air. It was so free and filled with possibilities - of what, Eren didn't know. He could just imagine all the things soaring throughout the sky, and he smiled.

"Do you like it, Eren?" He heard Petra ask and he nodded vigorously. He knew if he spoke, he'd cry. This was everything he'd imagined it to be.

"Let's walk around," Gunther suggested, to which Eren and Petra agreed with a fiery passion.

Eren spent two hours outside. Nobody said anything about the time, and Eren knew they all enjoyed walking around too. Petra had given flowers to Eren who was then ordered to smell them, and he did. They smelled wonderful. They were lavender. They were scattered around the fields of the hospital in small patches.

He smiled genuinely and laughed genuinely and Petra told him his laugh was so beautiful. Gunther and Erd and Auruo followed them, chatting softly with one another. Auruo seemed disinterested, but Eren knew he was content. Eren, too, was content. So incredibly content.

They sat on the bench in a warm and comfortable silence, until a shout came from somewhere Eren didn't know.

"Petra! Gunther! Auruo! Erd! We need you! Now!" The voice was sharp and firm and Eren could hear fear somewhere in there. He felt Petra grab his hand.

"What's wrong?" She asked the woman and the woman was gasping for breath.

"There was a bus filled w-with kids," the woman gasped out and she yelled at them to go over there to help them.

"Eren, I am so sorry," Petra began and Eren softly smiled at her. "I have to go, please stay here! Don't go anywhere!"

"It's fine," he said. "I'm fine. I'll stay put. Thank you, Petra." He said softly to her and she hugged him quickly before running off.

"Listen to the woman, brat!" Auruo screeched at him and Eren rolled his eyes. He heard Auruo yell from a distance about not rolling his eyes to his superior, but Eren just smirked and shook it off.

"Just stay put, we'll be right back," Erd and Gunther ran off with the others and Eren was now alone.

Eren sighed quietly and put his hands under his thighs, all the meanwhile shaking his legs back and forth underneath the bench. Several minutes passed, though he could hear the panicking of the accident in the distance. He looked around his area, and kept sighing.

He was disappointed that they all had to leave. They were what made this special. But he reluctantly told himself that it was their job to help people, so he had no choice but to agree with them leaving. It wasn't like he could tell them to stay.

He didn't know how long he'd been out there, but he eventually, after an internal battle, began to stand up. Eren knew this was a bad idea, but he wanted to walk by himself. He guessed it was to prove something, but he didn't even know what he was proving. His masculinity? No. It was more like his capability of doing something that he set out to do.

With shaky legs, he stood up. His spine was quivering, probably out of fear, but he found it in himself to take a step. Another one and another one. By the fourth step, he was getting confident.

The problem? He didn't know where he was going. Eren groaned a little once he realized that this was a horrible idea, but there wasn't any going back.

The boy wrapped his arms around himself as a safety blanket, and he just kept taking tiny steps. Eren imagined himself looking like a baby learning how to first walk. It was tiring, though.

Eren found his legs pulsating around his ankles and it felt so off. He cringed, but kept walking. He stopped. Eren let out a shaky breathe and began to get that guilty feeling back in his stomach.

He stayed there for a while, until a force rammed right into him, and before he knew it, he was groaning in pain on the sidewalk. He clutched his chest and he began gasping for oxygen. The pain was there, all over his body. He writhed on the sidewalk, turning onto his sides. He never realized how hard the concrete was until he actually fell on it.

For a while he laid there, until he heard a voice mutter a long string of curses.

It sounded oddly familiar.

Eren began to inhale and exhale more regularly, and he sat up even though his spine was screaming and his lungs were on fire. "I-I know you."

"Fuck this," the deep voice said, though it sounded raspy, almost as if it was in pain as well. "You're that fucking kid from before."

Eren squinted his eyes as an instinct, and he sat there. "Y-you..." He began, but he was struggling to make out words. As he tried to stand up, his hand came across a thin, small sheet of paper. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, but crumpled it into his hand quickly.

"Y-You're the patient that everyone's t-talking about, aren't you?" Eren asked and he was incredibly proud of himself. If Eren had participated in a bet, he would've won.

"You need to shut the _hell_ up," the man said and Eren felt a hand grip his chin, scrunching his cheeks up like a child. "Get up." The command was filled with unspoken threats, and Eren felt a hand grip onto his arm and hoisted his entire body up with one tug. Eren winced at how tightly the grip was and gasped out a little at the pain.

"J-Jesus, let _go_." Eren said through gritted teeth, and the man let go- albeit roughly. Eren rubbed his arm, hoping a bruise wouldn't form.

"Go sit over there, and stay put." The words were strict and the grip was back again.

Eren scoffed and felt the urge to roll his eyes, but refrained from doing so. "I fucking c-cant," Eren huffed out, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"Why the _hell_ not?" The voice was closer and more menacing than before. Eren knew he was trying to play this off so people wouldn't stare.

"Are you _blind_?" Eren gritted his teeth as he said that and it was quiet for a moment, and before Eren knew it, he was being tugged roughly to the bench he had just been sitting down at and sat him down. Eren winced as his body ached, not only the outside but on the inside. This was too much for him to handle, and he felt a headache coming up. He began to rub his arms, and the bruise was already forming.

"You sit here, and you don't say a _fucking_ word." Eren felt a sense of déjà vu come over him. Just as the man was about to turn around, Eren heard another pair of footsteps come in their direction. He stiffened, and he could feel the incredibly rude man hesitate.

"Eren?" Eren recognized the voice as Gunther and he looked in the general direction of the voice.

"Isn't this yours?" The man who had run into Eren asked in a rough voice and Eren retaliated.

"_This?_" Eren asked in a high-pitched voice, clearly showing irritation.

"Wait, a-aren't you-" Gunther began, but was interrupted by the man quickly walking pass him with a snarky 'whatever.'

Eren could feel Gunther look at him with a very confused look, and Eren just laughed nervously and said the man was just making some small talk. It was a horrible lie, but it seemed Gunther wasn't good at telling when people lied or just didn't care. Eren let out a sigh of relief.

As Eren was greeted by Petra and the others, he crumpled the paper in his left hand.

He wondered what was on the letter.

* * *

A/N: It is 2 AM and I need sleep. Um, so I know this chapter sucks, but please stay tuned! It'll get better, I swear! I don't suck as much as I say I do. Just kidding. I do. I suck so much. Oh, god.

Okay, so lots of grammar issues, and I will go over those tomorrow, so this is kind of a gross chapter. Please review though! I appreciate all of the great feedback I've been getting and I love all of you so much!

Also, please inbox or review me some titles 'cause I'm changing the title and I want help! I don't trust myself with these things!

Anyway, please follow, favorite, review! Thank you so much!

Sorry for such a late update! I've been so crowded with homework and three projects, so yeah. Anyway, I know this chapter sucks.


	3. Content

"Eren, are you being serious?"

"I am being _dead_ serious."

There was a pause, before the voices began again.

"I am not getting fries for you. McDonald's fries are disgusting and totally not healthy for you." The woman's voice spoke sternly at the other and sighed a little at the end. "I thought you knew better than that, Eren. Remember the last time you forced Armin to get you fries?"

Erne groaned in exasperation at the memory, though the action caused his throat to sear in pain.

"What does that have to do with anything? It's just fries! You can just get me a small if you're so worried, Mikasa!" Eren coughed out, and rubbed his throat in pain.

Mikasa rubbed her forehead and spoke up, "Last time you ate fries you threw up all of them and Armin was on the verge of crying because of how guilty he felt. We are not going through that again."

Eren rolled his eyes at the muttering of his older sister and lolled his head around.

"Eren, if you're _that _hungry then just ask for the food here." Mikasa tried to reason with her stubborn and persistent younger brother- who, by the way, was getting on her nerves, and surprisingly faster than usual.

Mikasa raised her eyebrows at the disgusted sound that came from Eren's mouth.

"That's disgusting. Fine. I'm not hungry anymore." Eren stated all the meanwhile putting on his pouty face.

"Well, that settles that." Mikasa said roughly. Eren just stuck his tongue out, and Mikasa flicked him on his head.

"Ouch! That hurt!" Eren rubbed at his forehead. It was surprisingly warm, and it stung from the flick. "My skin is sensitive," he mumbled. "Where's Armin, anyway?"

Mikasa crossed her arms and sat down. "He's visiting his grandfather. Of course, he wanted to come with me, but I told him that he should visit his grandfather instead. After all," she paused. "You'll still be here to greet him."

Eren smiled softly at her attempt at being positive. It was hard on her to stay like that, but he knew she was trying, and he loved her for that.

"His grandfather is a nice man. He did take us in when," he hesitated, "all that happened." Eren coughed to clear up his throat. Mikasa nodded slowly at what Eren was trying to say.

She quickly held his pale, cold hand that was clenching the thin blankets.

"Let's not remember. After all, that happened years ago. The only things that matter now are you, Armin, and his grandfather." She said softly.

"Don't forget about you," Eren quickly corrected her and she closed her eyes.

It was peaceful and silent. Chirping birds and the sound of the wind through the slightly cracked window eased the two siblings into a blissful moment.

"You know," Mikasa began, "maybe I'll get you your fries."

Eren smiled widely and he sat up straighter hoping that she would do just that.

"That is, once you get better and come home." She smiled. Eren could feel the emotion in that sentence and the want. Eren could feel the desire, the need, the want, the aspiration of her little brother finally coming home. He smiled.

"I'll be looking forward to those greasy fries," Eren said back, and he could feel her spirits being lifted at the notion of him finally agreeing that someday he'll finally be able to sit with her and Armin and watch TV for endless hours, and eat junk food together, and laugh together once more.

"Then it's settled. When you come home, I'll buy all the fries you could _ever_ want." Mikasa said with hope in her voice. That hope was there and it made Eren want to do the same. To hope for a day when he wouldn't vomit everything up when he tried to keep it down, or when the blood stung his throat when he hacked it up, when he could smell food and feel hungry for once. That was what he hoped for, and although he tried to keep the hope there, it always lingered away.

They stayed that way for a long time, and Eren was sure that he never wanted that peaceful silence to go away.

"Well, I have to leave." Mikasa said as she checked her watch and began to collect her items and put her jacket on. She walked over to Eren and held his hand. Leaning over, the woman placed her lips onto her younger brother's forehead and smiled.

"I'll see you soon."

Eren stayed silent, but felt her presence beside him and her warm breath on his head, and he closed his eyes. His head hurt.

"Don't you _dare_ die on me," the voice cracked and a little whimper was held back at the end. Eren squeezed her hand and she squeezed tightly back.

"I won't." That was all Eren could say before he felt his throat tighten in pain.

Mikasa shakily sighed and stood back up, reluctantly letting go of Eren's cold hand. Eren felt the hand quivering and the motion was uncertain.

"I am so sorry," she said in a hushed voice. "I am _so_ sorry that I can't do anything to help you." Eren stared at nothing, wanting nothing more than to say that it was okay, but he couldn't form the words. It was painful, hearing his sister break down in front of him, and not have the power to get up and hold her, to not see her. Eren felt his throat painfully clamp up and his eyes stung.

Eren heard his sister shuffling around, before she hugged him tightly. Her body was shaking and Eren was about to lift his hand to hold her until she let go and he quickly placed his hand back down on the bed.

"Okay, I-I have to leave- yeah. Goodbye, Eren." And with that, Eren heard his sister storm out of his room and he clenched his throat with his hands.

The next second he was sobbing and gasping. He was crying and his shoulders were shaking heavily under the violent, wracking sobs of his body. His throat burned and seared with every sound and whimper he made, but he couldn't calm down.

He sat there, his hands covering his face and his throat. His eyes were filled with tears and nose dripping with snot. It was disgusting but there he was, bawling like a baby.

"I'm so sorry…" He whimpered silently. "I am so, _so _sorry..." and he repeated those words over and over again. "I'm never coming home… Oh God…"

* * *

Eren fiddled with his hands as the rain pattered down on the window. He blinked slowly and stared at blackness, an abyss that stared right back. His breathing was heavy, though, and it seemed to be the only thing that made sound. His chest felt a brick and it hurt. It hurt so much, but he tried to never show it. Eren slid a hand underneath his pillow and heard the crinkling of paper and he quickly slid his hand back out.

He wondered and wanted so desperately to know what was on that piece of paper, but he couldn't fucking read or see shit and that annoyed him so much. It made him frustrated and irritated and angry. He furrowed his eyebrows together in concentration, but he didn't even know what he was concentrating on.

That made his brain seemingly thump heavily against the walls of his skull and he groaned. Those headaches would surely put an end to him.

The news of the runaway patient died down, and things were going back to the way they used to be: calm and boring. Eren didn't like it. He wanted those rumors again, and he wanted that man to come back. That odd man- rather, criminal- brought adrenaline to Eren's veins and Eren felt intoxicated with it.

Eren had picked up that small slip of paper back then, not knowing what it had on it, but he picked it up regardless. He didn't know who that slip of paper belonged to, but it felt like the moment to pick it up and so he did.

The encounters with the man had been unexpected and they made Eren feel real. Not like some porcelain doll, ready to break at the slight touch of a finger. It seemed reckless and stupid to want the man to come back, but Eren knew that wouldn't happen. The days would go by over and over and over again and the seasons would change and everything would, but nothing did change completely.

He'd spend the days chatting with his friends and saying nothing and eating nothing. He frowned at the thoughts and looked down in dead silence.

The door slid open, but Eren didn't look.

"How are you, Eren?" There was that sweet voice again.

Eren nodded slowly, "I'm fine." As usual, the same answer. These days were getting repetitive. It was the same routine and the same people. Even saying these days were a boring schedule was once said in the past, maybe more than once. Everything blended together and nothing stood out.

"It's raining, you know." Oh, that voice.

"I know. I like it, though. What about you," Eren inhaled a little, but his lungs stung, "Petra?"

"Oh, I like it too. It's soothing."

Eren inhaled deeply, but that sparked something and he lifted up his arm quickly to cough into it. He stopped and breathed in and out repetitively, hoping to calm his nerves as well as his lungs.

"Are you alright?" She asked and Eren nodded.

"I'm fine." He said once more, but his voice was raspy and unclear.

"Sure doesn't sound like it," Petra said and she sat beside the dazed boy. "Are you sure?"

This time Eren didn't nod. He didn't say another yes, and he didn't acknowledge the question. He just sat there.

"I'm tired."

Petra laughed softly, but it sounded dull. "Well, I'll leave you alone." The woman stood up and left the room, closing the door behind her softly. He felt slightly guilty at not starting a conversation with the polite woman, but he couldn't talk. Not today. He was sick today, or more so than usual. He was tired from crying for an hour straight and his eyes were lazily hanging open.

Eren clenched the blanket tightly within his fists and brought it up to his face, hoping the warmth would encase him a cocoon of heat.

Eren shut his eyes tightly, and he gasped. His nose stung, and his throat burned. His heart pumped so slowly that Eren could've easily been convinced that maybe he was just dead and all this was just some strange, agonizing dream.

Eren exhaled heavily and he ran his hands over his cheeks. They were burning and he felt his eyes sting with pain.

He sighed. He was bored and blind. Oh boy, was this a way to live. He felt guilt for not allowing Mikasa to feel real happiness- not like she used to. He felt guilty because he was wasting everyone's time on his well-being, when in the end, he would be gone. He would disappear, and nobody would see him again.

He used to be afraid of monsters- and sometimes he still is. He was scared that something would be there in the darkness, ready to take his life, and he'd curl up in a ball under his blanket. Even now he was still frightened- only not as much. He'd cower a little and wrap his arms around his body, but then he'd stop and think.

He'd think things and then he'd stop curling up in a ball. He'd think things and he'd sprawl all over the bed, throwing the blanket off himself. Eren would think that if those monsters would truly come and take his life, he realized he didn't care. He didn't care anymore. If anything, if those monsters were real, he'd welcome them with a big smile on his face.

He loathed feeling guilt, and he loathed himself for giving up. He was blind and his body was slowly dying. What hope was there for him? There was nothing, and if those monsters killed him, he'd realized that it would be the same as living. Those empty feelings and the pitch blackness of his surroundings.

It was the same as death, and he didn't know if it frightened him so much into thinking that it wasn't scary at all, or that he didn't mind at all.

* * *

"Hey, Armin, could you get some water for Eren?" Mikasa asked the blonde boy standing beside her, and the boy nodded and ran off. "Thank you!" She called out after him and the boy yelled back, "You're welcome!"

"You didn't have to make him go fetch me water, Mikasa. I wasn't _that_ thirsty," Eren chuckled, but his searing throat made it sound funny. Mikasa sighed and crossed her arms.

"Yes you are, Eren. Don't lie to me." The older woman strictly said and got comfortable in the seat she was currently sitting in. "This is my day off, and I'm going to spend _every_ minute with you and Armin."

Eren smiled at the thought of it and also snuggled up in his bed. Maybe they could spend the whole day chatting and sleeping. Eren closed his eyes and sniffled a little. That sounded nice.

"So, Mikasa, have you made any friends at Berkeley?" He asked. Mikasa stayed silent for a while.

"I actually have." She said softly.

Eren brightened at that, only a little bit. "That's great! Who are they?" He asked, hoping he wasn't prying too much, but Mikasa seemed comfortable.

"Well, I made friends with a girl named Sasha. She's a hungry girl alright. But she's sweet." She began and Eren felt a spark of happiness in his chest. It was nice knowing his older sister was having some fun.

"Anyone else?"

"Well, if you insist, Eren, I'll tell you _all_ about my friends." Mikasa said. "Besides Sasha, I met Connie. He's her boyfriend, and boy, is he insane. When the two of them are together," she stopped talking and Eren leaned forward subconsciously, "just no."

Eren felt his lips being tugged wider and he laughed a little, but it sounded harsh and Eren cringed at the sound. Mikasa raised her eyebrows at that.

"You know, that's the first time I've heard you laugh in a while. It's nice." Mikasa said hushed and covered her face with the blankets, not speaking about the hoarse tone of his voice.

"Okay, well, anyone else?" Eren persisted. Mikasa sighed.

"There's also Christa. She's an absolute sweetie."

"They sound really nice."

"Oh, they are. Just a bit too crazy for my liking, but I can tolerate them." Mikasa stated.

The door slid open and Armin came rushing in with a bottle of water. Mikasa jumped at the sudden sound and Eren gasped a little, a cough coming out at the sudden intake of breath.

"I got the water!" Armin announced and Mikasa rolled her eyes.

"Why did you come barging in here like that?" Mikasa shifted in her seat and looked more awake then before. "Nearly gave us a heart attack."

Eren nodded, agreeing with his sister. He placed a hand over his chest, implying his erratic heartbeat.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, but on the bright side," Armin stopped and Mikasa smiled in confusion, "look who I found!"

Mikasa watched as Armin hauled in a boy with two shades of hair. Eren was quiet the entire time, just listening to the ruckus his friends made.

"Who is this?" Mikasas asked slowly, not recognizing the face of the stunned boy Armin was currently holding in his grip.

"Don't you guys remember? Or… Mikasa," Armin corrected himself slowly, quickly looking in Eren's direction.

Eren shook his head slowly, knowing Armin felt guilty about what he said. He smiled at his friend, hoping Armin would get the signal.

"No, I don't remember." Mikasa said, staring at Armin. Armin rolled his eyes.

"Jean!" Armin exclaimed, gesturing to the boy he was gripping. The said boy yanked his arm from the blonde and rubbed it wincing at the contact.

"Ow, that hurt Armin. Thanks for the warning." The boy said with a slight hint of attitude in his voice.

"Oh, Jean. Right. I remember you." Mikasa said, her tone monotonic and uninterested.

Jean then felt nervous at the woman's stare- well, more like glare- and he avoided his gaze with her. Armin smiled and then walked over to Eren, who was currently just watching them.

"Eren, this is Jean. Jean, this is Eren. Jean was one of our friends in high school." Armin introduced them politely and Eren greeted by waving his hand. Jean waved back, but then abruptly stopped the motion. Armin noticed and just shook his head.

"You're blind, huh?" Jean asked. Eren blinked and gripped the bed sheets.

"Um, yeah. I-I am." Eren said awkwardly. Nobody ever outright asked him or stated it like that, so the boy in front of him asking it in such a nonchalant voice made him a tad pissed off. "Is there a problem with it?"

"No," Jean snapped back. The blind boy's voice was snarky and filled with attitude and sarcasm. Jean did not like it one bit. "Geez, calm down. It was just a question."

Armin looked down awkwardly and looked back at Mikasa to help. The air was getting tense. Armin swore he heard Eren growl.

"Okay, I think you need to calm down." Mikasa stated, her chin resting in her palm. Jean huffed and walked away from Eren who was glaring and ready to pack a punch.

"So, Jean, what are you doing in the hospital?" Armin asked, the air was still heavy and awkward. He hoped that talking would lighten the mood.

"Visiting Marco."

Armin raised his eyebrows. "Marco is here?" Mikasa took her chin off her hand at the comment and she looked interested. Jean stayed quiet for a couple of seconds before opening his mouth again.

"Yeah, he is." Jean's voice sounded forced.

"Why?" Mikasa asked.

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and shut his eyes. "He was in a car accident a while back. H-He's in really bad condition. I just came by to see him."

Armin frowned at that. Mikasa just looked down.

"Oh, I'm really sorry." Armin said.

Jean just shook his head. "I'd better leave."

Armin was about to say something, but Jean swiftly left, closing the door behind him. Armin looked down. Eren felt the mood turning sour and it upset him.

"Who's Marco?" Eren got the nerve to ask them. Armin looked up.

"Marco was one of our friends in high school, too. He was a great guy. He was nice and polite and everyone loved him." Armin began chuckling. "Everyone always teased him for his large amount of freckles."

Mikasa smiled at the memory of high school. Eren nodded slowly, suddenly feeling guilty for lashing out at Jean, but the guy was asking for it.

"Well," Armin concluded, clapping his hands together, "let's watch TV!"

Eren brightened at that and Armin quickly shuffled to move his chair beside Eren's bed, motioning for Mikasa to do the same. Mikasa grinned and she quickly got and scooted her cushiony chair beside Armin and Eren.

"Okay, what do you guys wanna watch?" Armin said as he grabbed the remote and flicked through the channels. "We've got Judge Judy, the whole Cartoon Network channel…"

Eren smiled and felt warm for once in his life. He supposed that this was what contentedness felt like; just being happy and warm and nice. This was nice. Everyone he ever loved was with him, and he knew his mother was there somewhere with them. It was perfect.

* * *

Eren closed his eyes, trying to lull himself to sleep. But nothing ever seemed to work. Not to mention, the constant beeping of his heart monitor just kept waking him up. He knew Mikasa and Armin were snuggled up in their pillows and blankets already asleep, for he could hear their rhythmic breathing of inhales and exhales.

He shut his eyes in frustration. Today was the best day he'd ever had in a long time. His family was here and they all had a good time talking and teasing and doing whatever they wanted to do. It was just natural for him to enjoy their presence and attention. That's all he wanted. Attention and love and care.

He sighed in exasperation. Of course, that made him sound selfish. Wanting any kind of affection made one sound self-centered and gross.

Living was just too hard for him. Doing any one thing made him gasping for breath or keeled over coughing up pain. It was all just too much for him and his frail body.

Eren sat up and surprise when a loud slam came from the left. That was definitely not the door. The only thing on his left was the window, and that thing was rarely open. God forbid insects came in and drained him of all his blood, or so Petra claimed worriedly.

It was silent for another while, and he was contemplating waking up Mikasa and Armin, because neither seemed to have woken up from the loud sound. Eren gulped audibly and he broke out in a cold sweat.

"God, don't get so panicked." The deep voice spoke, but in a hushed voice. Eren supposed it was to not wake the slumbering visitors.

Eren blinked dumbfounded for a really long time before stuttering out, "Um, w-what? You're t-the guy…" Eren could never forget that voice.

The intruder stood at the foot of Eren's bed.

"Yes, I am 'that guy'. Good thing you're not stupid."

Eren panicked as he heard footsteps make their way towards him and he leaned to the right, hoping to avoid whatever the man was trying to do.

"That'll make this much easier." The man concluded. Eren felt a hand grip his hair and he almost yelped.

"God! Let _go_!" Eren whispered violently as the man just gripped even tighter. "Jesus!" Eren had a wave of nostalgia come over him as he remembered the previous meeting with the man. It seemed that whenever they crossed paths, the rude criminal just seemed to take it on his shoulders to abuse him.

"I'll let go. I just want that paper you stole from me."

Eren felt himself blank.

"That was yours?" Eren felt his stomach begin to swirl around and he felt sick.

"Yes, and you took it. _Give it_." That voice sent shivers up and down Eren's spine and he knew that man could easily rip apart his throat if he wanted to.

Eren quickly reached under his pillow to retrieve the letter and the man snatched it from his hands.

"Okay, you can let go now!" Eren hissed at the man. The grip on his hair tightened and Eren let out a whimper.

"The name's Levi." The man said, and Eren would have rolled his eyes had his hair was not being pulled at a force that Eren swore he'd lost at least ten strands of hair.

"I kind of f-figured that out," his throat had gone dry. "Now would you _kindly_ let me go?"

The grip slackened and Eren let out a sigh of relief.

"You meddle a lot in business that isn't yours, brat."

Eren gripped the sheets. His scalp was on fire, but he wouldn't let the man have that satisfaction of having hurt him.

He glared as he heard the footsteps inch away, closer to the window. Eren hissed in agony as his throat clenched and he sputtered little coughs. Eren gripped his throat, but the burning was still there.

"Nice eyes, brat."

And with that, the window shut closed once again and Eren jumped in his skin. Eren coughed into his throat and began to rub his scalp, hoping the pain of his hair being ripped out would go away.

Eren let the words process into his mind what the criminal said to him and he let his hand fall to the soft blankets draped over him. He furrowed his eyebrows.

That was the first time anybody had ever said that to him.

"Mm… Are you okay, Eren? I heard you coughing." Mikasa woke up and Eren quickly replied.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." Eren responded, hoping Mikasa wouldn't pry.

"Alright, but if anything happens and it hurts, tell me or Armin. Please?"

Eren smiled at her generosity.

"Promise."

* * *

A/N: Wow, this update was overdue by two months. I am a failure. It's always easier for me to write scenes in which Eren and Levi interact and I don't know why but my fingers fly across the keyboard whenever they cross paths.

Poor Eren just gets hurt everytime Levi comes around. But don't worry, he's fine. Sort of.

Anyway, thank you for all the support! I love all of you guys! You're all so nice and it just gives me fuel to finish this story. It gets sad, though, but that's much later on. Thank you all so much!

.


End file.
